Lehigh Valley Woman – Finance Section – December 2012
by Laurie A. Siebert, CPA, CFP®, AEP® Vice President, Valley National Financial Advisors
Her shoes . . . her story. One thing women love sharing is their story
. . . the story of their relationships, their marriage, pregnancies, birth of their children, career advancement, aging, illness, and care- taking. And I haven’t even mentioned sharing their ideas on shopping or tips on their favorite shoes! Sharing our stories is like putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Storytelling helps us learn about each other and how we can help each other. After all, women by their nature are caretakers. We like bouncing ideas off each other. We like problem solving collectively, only after we have thoughtfully explored and considered our options, and then we do what feels right given the circumstances.
I just returned from a financial industry conference in Chicago and let me share a few observations I had. The financial professional attendees appeared to be about one-quarter women and three-fourths men, and there were several education sessions offered on working with the female client. What was really interesting to me was that the folks who chose to attend those sessions were mostly… women. Do the male advisors already know how to work with women? Do they know what we want in an advisor? Are they listening to our story?
For a moment, I want to focus particularly on women who have recently lost a spouse. We know the general statistics that women live longer, that they outlive their spouse, and that mature women quite often leave the finances up to the husband. That’s not to say that they don’t participate in the decision making or that there is any lack of ability. (It’s like when I let my husband drive even though I am the better driver! It makes him feel good.) Women, like our mothers and grandmothers, may not have been engaged in knowing how much money was coming in or how much money was going out or where the money was or how it was invested. After the husband dies, they find themselves asking the question, “Will I have enough?”
To whom are they asking this question? I strongly encourage anyone in a relationship to become involved in the financial matters so that they know not only to whom to ask the question but also what questions to ask. We cannot be experts in everything. What we can do is make sure that we take care of ourselves. We want a financial advisor to understand our unique circumstances. We want a financial advisor who gives a high priority to communication. We want a financial advisor who puts our best interest first. We want an adviser who can listen.
One more story
My 82-year-old mother told me that when she was a child, her mother bought her a pair of patent leather shoes. My mother excitedly opened the box anticipating the shiny black shoes only to find that one was shiny and the other not. Her mother took the shoes back to the store and asked the man to change the shoes and he said no. She asked if she could have her money back and he said no. I asked my mother how she felt about that and she said, “I had to live with it.” When I was 17, I was invited to a special dance and needed a new pair of shoes. The salesman brought me a pair to try on and after trying on just one, I bought them. I opened them right before I went to the dance to find that one was shiny and one was not. I know I should have pre- pared better but “I had to live with it.” I only discovered my mother’s story when I asked her if she would have a story to share about “shoes” for this article. I find it strange the coincidence of these two similar stories that happened thirty years apart.
We need to share our stories with our families. We need to share our stories with our advisors. We need to share our stories with those people who will listen so that we don’t just have to “live with it.” We need to share our stories so that we can be empowered in our decisions, in our choices, in our retirement, in our understanding, and in how we communicate and how we allow others to communicate to us. If you have lost a loved one and don’t know how you will manage and need someone to listen, I want to hear your story and I want to help. I am available at 610-868-9000. Thank you for reading my story.
In summary
Be proactive, not reactive. Anticipate life changes and make the best of your financial choices.
